kids, competition and learning how to win… and lose.

The weekend's Grand Final was a pretty exciting one. Whether you were watching from the couch, at the game, or hearing all about it from your kids, there was no shortage of big emotions. The nerves, the excitement, the celebrations and the disappointment are a big part of what makes sport so engaging.

And if you have a child who plays sport, you'll know that those emotions don't just show up on Grand Final day. They can show up every Saturday morning.

Your child loses a game and melts down in the car. They don't get the position they wanted. They make a mistake and can't let it go. They win and are absolutely on top of the world. Or perhaps they're starting to compare themselves to their teammates and wondering whether they're "good enough."

As a parent, it can be difficult to know what to say or do in those moments.

1. it's okay for your child to want to win

Sometimes we can feel like we need to teach our kids that "it's not about winning." While there's some truth in that, it's also okay for your child to care about the result.

Winning feels good. Your child might be incredibly proud after a great game, and there's nothing wrong with celebrating that with them.

The bigger lesson is helping them understand that winning doesn't determine their worth. A great game doesn't make them a better person, and a bad game doesn't make them a failure.

You can celebrate the win while still keeping it in perspective: "You guys played really well today. You must be pretty proud of yourselves."

2. When your child loses, don't rush to fix it

This is often the hardest part for parents.

Your child gets into the car after a loss and they're devastated. You want to make them feel better, so you might immediately say, "It's okay!" or "It doesn't matter!"

But to them, it might matter a lot.

Instead of trying to take the disappointment away, try acknowledging it first. "You're really disappointed. You really wanted to win."

That's not encouraging them to dwell on it. It's showing them that you can handle their big feelings, even when they can't quite handle them themselves yet.

Once they've had some time to settle, you can help them move forward. Ask what they enjoyed, what they learned or what they'd like to work on next time.

The goal isn't to prevent disappointment. It's to help your child learn that they can get through it.

3. Your child is watching you

Whether we like it or not, our kids take a lot of their cues from us.

They notice what happens on the sidelines. They hear what we say about the umpire. They notice how we react when they make a mistake. They even pick up on whether we're still talking about a loss days later.

You don't have to be perfectly calm all the time. You're allowed to get excited about the game too. But it's worth asking yourself: What am I teaching my child about winning, losing and mistakes through the way I respond?

Sometimes changing one question can make a difference.

Instead of always asking, "Did you win?", try, "Did you enjoy it?" or "What was the best part?"

You're not saying the result doesn't matter. You're helping your child see that it's not the only thing that matters.

4. Let sport be a safe place to practice resilience

One of the great things about children's sport is that it gives them regular opportunities to practise dealing with things that don't go their way.

They miss the shot. They make a mistake. They lose. They don't get the position they wanted. They have an argument with a teammate.

And then, a few days later, they turn up to training again.

As parents, we don't need to make every difficult experience easier for our kids. Sometimes we can give them the space to experience something hard while letting them know we're there if they need us.

That's how resilience develops.

Resilience doesn't mean your child never cries or gets upset. It means they gradually learn, "I can feel really disappointed and still be okay. I can make a mistake and have another go."

5. Remember what's happening beyond the scoreboard

It's easy to focus on the result, particularly when your child cares so much about it. But some of the most valuable things your child is learning through sport won't show up on the scoreboard.

They're learning how to be part of a team. They're learning how to cope when things don't go their way. They're learning to practise something they're not good at yet. They're learning to handle nerves, frustration and disappointment.

And they're learning all of this with you alongside them.

So after the excitement of last weekend's Grand Final, perhaps it's worth remembering that our job as parents isn't to make sure our kids always win. It's to help them learn that they can handle both winning and losing.

Because the game eventually ends. The scoreboard gets packed away. But the way we teach our kids to understand and manage those big emotions can stay with them for a long time.

If you're looking for tips and tools to help your kid navigate big emotions, competition and everything that comes with growing up, book your free meet and greet today!