school holiday survival guide for parents

By Luke Mihail - Lumi Counselling, Geelong

School holidays are here, which sounds great until everyone has been home for three days, someone is bored, someone else is annoyed at their sibling, screen time has blown out and you are already wondering how there are still nearly two weeks to go.

I work with kids, teenagers and parents every week at lumi counselling, and holidays are a funny one. Some kids absolutely love the break. Others actually find it harder than school because all the usual structure disappears. So this is not a guide to creating the perfect school holidays. I do not think that exists. It is more about keeping things steady enough that everyone gets through the break without feeling completely cooked.

1. Keep a bit of structure

You do not need a full timetable. Most kids just do better when they have some idea of what the day is going to look like. That might be as simple as knowing they are staying home in the morning, heading out after lunch and having some screen time later. For kids who get anxious or struggle with transitions, even that little bit of predictability can help. You do not need to recreate school at home, but it probably helps if every day is not completely random.

2. Let them be bored

This is probably one of the hardest things for parents. A kid says, “I’m bored,” and suddenly you feel responsible for fixing it. You are not. Boredom is not an emergency. Sometimes the best thing you can do is let them sit in it for a while and work out what to do next. That might turn into Lego, kicking a footy, drawing, gaming, building something weird in the backyard or annoying their sibling for ten minutes before eventually finding something else to do. You do not have to entertain them every hour of the day.

3. Screens are probably going to increase

I am not anti-screen, and I think parents can get way too stressed about this. School holidays usually mean more Minecraft, Fortnite, YouTube, movies and gaming with friends. That is not automatically a problem. I would look more at the whole day. Have they eaten properly? Have they moved? Have they gone outside? Have they spoken to anyone? Are they sleeping? Have they had some time away from the screen? If the answer is mostly yes, I would worry a lot less about counting every minute.

4. Get them out of the house

This does not need to mean some huge family day out. We live in Geelong. There are plenty of easy options. Go down to the waterfront, kick the footy at the park, go for a walk, head to the beach, or grab something to eat and wander around for a bit. A lot of kids I work with regulate better once they have moved their body. Sometimes what looks like attitude is actually a kid who has been inside, sitting still and staring at a screen for hours.

5. Watch sleep

This is one I would keep an eye on. Holiday bedtimes can get late very quickly. Then everyone sleeps in, meals move, routines disappear and suddenly your child is losing it over something tiny. Sometimes the problem is not the behaviour. They are just exhausted. I am not saying keep school-night bedtimes through the holidays. Let them stay up sometimes, have movie nights and enjoy the break. Just do not let sleep drift so far that everybody becomes miserable.

6. Pick your battles

You do not need to turn every annoying thing into a lesson. If they are still in pajamas at lunchtime, the world will keep spinning. If their room is a mess for a couple of days, it will be okay. If they have cereal for lunch once, they will survive. I tell parents this all the time: you only have so much energy, so do not spend all of it fighting about things that are not that important.

7. Connection usually works better than another lecture

Kids can get pretty dysregulated over holidays. More time together, less routine, more screens, more sibling contact and later nights can all add up. When behaviour gets rough, it is easy to go straight into correction mode. Sometimes that is needed, but sometimes your kid does not need another lecture. They need ten minutes with you. Kick the footy, sit next to them, play a game, go get a drink or ask what is actually going on. A child who looks angry might be overwhelmed. A teenager who looks rude might be anxious. And sometimes they are just tired and over everyone.

8. do not make the holidays another job

This is probably the biggest one. You do not need to create magical memories every day. Your kids are not going to remember whether you planned enough activities. They are more likely to remember the general feeling of being together. Some days will be good. Some will be boring. Some will involve arguments. Some will probably involve too much screen time. That is normal. And if you need to get takeaway, put a movie on and have an easier day, do it.

At lumi, I see plenty of families where holidays can bring extra anxiety, anger, conflict or withdrawal. Sometimes a break from school is exactly what a young person needs. Sometimes the lack of routine actually makes things harder. If your child seems more unsettled than usual, I would look underneath the behaviour before trying to fix it. Are they tired? Do they need some structure? Do they need to move? Do they need space? Do they need time with you?

You will not get every day right. Nobody does. Keep things simple, keep everyone fed, get outside when you can and try not to turn every rough moment into a crisis. That is probably a pretty successful school holidays.

Do you need additional support with your child? start your lumi journey here.