By Luke Mihail - Lumi Counselling, Geelong.
The start of a new school term can sneak up quickly. One minute everyone is sleeping in, eating breakfast at 10am and forgetting what day it is. The next, you’re looking for school shoes, packing lunches and trying to get everyone out the door before 8:30.
For some kids, going back to school is exciting. For others, it can bring a whole mix of feelings. Worry about friendships. Stress about schoolwork. A change in routine. A new teacher. Or simply the thought of having to be “on” again after a break.
You don’t need to completely overhaul your family in the days before school starts. A few small things can make the transition much smoother.
1. make tomorrow morning easier… tonight.
Tonight is not the time to completely reset everyone’s body clock or suddenly create the perfect routine. Instead, focus on making tomorrow morning as easy as possible.
Lay out uniforms. Pack bags. Find the shoes. Fill drink bottles. Check lunchboxes. Make sure devices are charged if they need them. Work out breakfast before everyone is hungry and cranky.
For kids who are anxious or struggle with transitions, even small things can feel big when they’re rushed. A calm morning starts with removing as many decisions as possible the night before.
And if bedtime is a little later than ideal tonight, don’t panic. One imperfect night won’t ruin the term. The goal is not perfection. It’s simply to help tomorrow feel manageable.
2. Talk about the term without turning it into an interview
It can be tempting to start asking, “Are you excited?”, “Who are you going to sit with?”, “Are you worried about anything?” or “What subjects do you have?”
Some kids will happily talk. Others will suddenly become very interested in absolutely anything else.
Instead of firing questions at them, keep the conversation light and give them room to join in. You might say, “School’s coming back pretty quickly. What’s the part you’re least looking forward to?”
Sometimes starting with what they don’t like gets you much further than asking them to tell you what they’re excited about.
You could also try, “If you could change one thing about school this term, what would it be?”
Then listen. You don’t have to fix everything they tell you. Sometimes the most useful thing you can say is, “Yeah, I can understand why that would be hard.”
3. Make the first week smaller
When a child is worried about school, we often accidentally make the problem enormous. We start talking about the whole term. Homework. Attendance. Grades. Friendships. Sport. Assignments. Getting organised.
That’s a lot.
Shrink the target. Instead of saying, “We need to have a really good term,” try, “Let’s just focus on getting through Monday.”
For an anxious child, the goal might simply be getting through the school gate. For another child, it might be asking the teacher for help once. For a teenager who feels overwhelmed, it might be getting their bag packed the night before.
Small wins create momentum. You can deal with Week 7 when you get to Week 7.
4. Give them some control
Kids usually have very little control over what happens at school. They don’t choose what time school starts, who is in their class, what work gets assigned or when the bell rings.
So wherever possible, give them some control around the edges. Let them choose what goes in their lunchbox, which school jumper they wear, what music plays in the car, what they do when they get home, what they want ready the night before, or whether they want to talk about their day immediately or later.
This can be particularly helpful for kids who are anxious, easily overwhelmed or prone to digging their heels in.
A little bit of choice can completely change the feel of a morning.
Instead of, “Go get ready,” try, “Shoes or teeth first?”
Same destination. Much less battle.
5. Don’t make every afternoon productive
School can take a lot out of kids. They’ve spent six hours concentrating, navigating friendships, following instructions, sitting still, changing classrooms, dealing with noise and managing themselves around other people.
Some kids walk through the front door and completely unravel. That doesn’t necessarily mean something has gone terribly wrong. Sometimes they’ve simply reached the end of their capacity for the day.
Before jumping straight into homework, chores or questions about school, give them a chance to decompress. Food helps. Movement helps. Quiet helps. Minecraft may help. Kicking a footy outside might help. Lying upside down on the couch for twenty minutes may apparently be essential.
Every kid has a different reset button. The trick is figuring out what theirs is.
And if your child regularly comes home angry, tearful or completely exhausted, get curious about it rather than immediately treating it as a behaviour problem. There may be more happening underneath.
The goal isn’t a perfect start
There will probably still be a missing drink bottle. Someone will forget their hat. You may still be yelling “WE ARE LEAVING” while nobody appears remotely interested in leaving.
That’s family life.
Getting ready for the school term isn’t about creating the perfect routine. It’s about helping your child feel like school is something they can handle, and reminding them that when things do get difficult, they’ve got someone in their corner.
And sometimes, that’s the thing that matters most.
If your child or teen is feeling anxious, overwhelmed, struggling with school or just finding the transition back a bit tough, you don’t have to figure it all out on your own.
If you’d like some support heading into Term 4, reach out to me here. I’d be happy to chat about what’s going on and whether lumi might be a good fit for your family.
