School Anxiety & School Refusal Geelong.
For some children and teenagers, school can become the hardest part of the day.
Mornings might start with stomach aches, tears, anger, shutdowns or repeated requests to stay home. Other young people still make it through the school gates, but spend the day anxious, overwhelmed or exhausted and then fall apart once they get home.
School anxiety does not always look like fear. Sometimes it looks like avoidance, irritability, perfectionism, headaches, tiredness, panic, refusal to get ready or simply saying, “I can’t do it.”
At Lumi Counselling, I work with children and teenagers in Geelong who are struggling with school anxiety, school refusal and the stress that can build around attendance. The goal is not to force a young person through the door. It is to understand what is making school feel so hard and help them build confidence, coping skills and a clearer way forward.
When school starts feeling too hard
Most young people have days where they do not want to go to school. It becomes more concerning when the anxiety or avoidance is starting to take over family life or make regular attendance difficult.
You might notice your child:
Complaining of headaches or stomach aches before school
Becoming highly distressed in the morning
Refusing to get dressed or leave the house
Asking to stay home more often
Crying, shutting down or becoming angry around school
Struggling to sleep before school days
Worrying constantly about teachers, friends or schoolwork
Becoming very hard on themselves academically
Avoiding certain classes, activities or social situations
Holding it together at school and falling apart at home
Sometimes the reason is obvious. Other times there are several things happening at once.
Understanding what is underneath it
School refusal is rarely just about not wanting to go to school.
There may be anxiety about friendships, bullying, academic pressure, separation, getting something wrong, being embarrassed, sensory overload, a difficult teacher, a recent change or simply feeling overwhelmed by the whole environment.
For some young people, avoidance starts because staying home gives immediate relief. The problem is that the longer school is avoided, the bigger and harder it can begin to feel.
Counselling can help us slow that cycle down and understand what is actually driving it.
A practical approach to school anxiety
I do not want counselling to become another place where a young person feels pressured about school.
We start with what is happening for them and what they are actually finding difficult.
Depending on the young person, we might work on understanding anxiety, recognising early warning signs, handling anxious thoughts, managing physical symptoms, building confidence with difficult situations, reducing avoidance gradually and developing practical ways to cope during the school day.
With younger children, this might happen through games, drawing, movement or simple visual tools. With teenagers, it may involve conversation, walking, practical exercises or working through specific situations they are facing at school.
The goal is to make things feel more manageable, not to pretend school suddenly becomes easy.
What if my child just says “I don’t know”?
That is very common.
A child or teenager may genuinely struggle to explain why school feels so difficult. They may just know that when morning comes, everything in them wants to avoid it.
I do not expect them to arrive with a clear explanation.
We can start with smaller questions. When does the anxiety begin? Is there a particular part of the day that feels worse? What happens in their body? What are they worried might happen? When does school feel a little easier?
Over time, those pieces can help us understand what is underneath the refusal or anxiety.
Working with parents
School anxiety can put enormous pressure on families.
Mornings can become a cycle of negotiating, reassuring, pushing, pleading and trying to work out whether your child genuinely cannot cope or simply needs a firmer boundary.
There is rarely one perfect response.
Where appropriate, I work alongside parents to help them understand what may be driving the anxiety and find a more consistent way of responding. That can include looking at how to support your child without allowing avoidance to take over completely.
The aim is to help your child feel understood while still building confidence and independence.
Working alongside school when helpful
Sometimes it is useful for the adults around a young person to be on the same page.
With appropriate consent, counselling can sit alongside support already happening through school, family or other professionals. The aim is not to create more meetings or make things complicated. It is simply to make sure the young person is getting a consistent message and practical support around what they are finding difficult.
Lumi Counselling is based in Geelong and supports children, teenagers and families from across Geelong, the Bellarine Peninsula and the Surf Coast.
If school mornings are becoming a battle, attendance is becoming harder or anxiety is starting to take over your child’s school life, you can book a free meet and greet to talk through what has been happening and whether Lumi might be the right fit.